Some people dream of slowly walking away in silence as something spectacular goes up in flames behind them. Like the number one thriller that everyone dreams could be their life. And here I am to say…I watched you walk that walk, while the flames simply engulfed me. I wasn’t ready to burn or be burned. No one knew to save me, except the one that lit the fire.
It’s magnificent from your view, but what about me. I’m too solid to be destroyed but God, this hurts, this hurts me more and more. I can’t find a place that isn’t marked with your perfection. I can’t find of clean piece in the wreckage to rebuild. But when it happens in a small town, the foundation never really disappears.
Give in…come back…and love ME. Stop looking, stop walking further into the distance. Come here and save me. I am telling you that you will not ever find a heart that can withstand your flame. No heart can hold on this tight when all odds are pulling the other side. Turn around and look, I’m still here. There will never be a time when you turn around and don’t see me standing here.
You may have to walk back through flames but I’m the only one that can make it through them to love you when the smoke clears. Choose me, Love me.
I hereby stop thinking of boys. Stop thinking that “maybe there’s still someone out there for me”, making up scenarios in my head about how I could meet someone, about how it would be to be with someone. I hereby stop falling in love with boys that do in fact exist, but which I give nonexistent fantastic personalities in my mind, without even knowing them. I will now stop doing all of this, thinking and dreaming about all of this. It’s only taking precious time that could be used in some other way. It’s only taking my energy and making me hope for things that cannot, and probably will not happen. These thoughts are like bubbles, hurting me when they break and when I realize that it was always only in my head and never for real. I hereby stop doing this. If I am to experience love, I want it to be for real. And if I’m not, well that sucks, but life goes on, and I like to believe that there’s more to it than falling in love. From now on, I’m going to stop making up all these dreams, and going to focus on the reality instead. Life can be so much more, and you have only one, so why waste it on this pointless dreaming. It may sound harsh, but I’m done with these dreams now. They give me nothing but a heartache.
I’m not giving up on love. And I know that dreams can be a wonderful way to escape reality. I just don’t want for them to take over. I don’t want to hold on to these dream-bubbles and make myself fly so high that I won’t survive the fall.